The Joy of Learning

I can’t speak for anyone else, but my TikTok has been filled with this new trend “personal curriculum.”

I was immediately intrigued by the concept, so I set to work creating this elaborate daily plan for myself, choosing subjects & finding resources, even writing it into my calendar. It was all set to go for the beginning of the week that brings a new month. I haven’t touched it.

So I set to searching into what is holding me back?

1. Accountability - one of the things I loved about school was having to turn things in & prove to someone I did the work. Not because I craved their approval or praise, but because it kept me honest about doing it. It’s like how I am best at cleaning my apartment when people are coming over.

2. Motivation - I am not the most inherently motivated person. I want to be good & I want to be successful, but at the end of the day, I need a reason. Sometimes that reason is as simple as “because I have to” for things like the dishes & taking out the trash. Other times, it’s because I am supposed to, like tasks at work. There’s nothing concrete I have found to motivate myself to do it. However, I haven’t given up yet.

3. Lack of Joy - I have always loved to learn. I gravitate toward non-fiction books & topics that force me to think. But, in a lot of ways, I’ve lost the joy in the beauty of casual learning. I feel like I have to be accomplishing something when I go to learn. Like I have to prove my knowledge in some way. But in reality, learning is not about that & I want to find a way to love the idea of casual learning again.

4. Doomscrolling - I learned about this topic from TikTok. The internet is a dopamine trap & we know that. I am falling victim to it every time unfortunately. I have a work phone now, which has kept me on track at work, but has made it worse when I get home. I feel like I am constantly trying to “catch up” with what’s happened online, text my people, & play the stupid games.

5. Responsibilities - I am living on my own, with a full time job, in a mostly unfurnished & disorganized apartment. So, I have things to do all the time now. I don’t have that much time to just exist in my mind, so the little I do have is precious & currently being used mostly for the bingeing of sports (let’s go Aces)

So, what am I going to do about it all? Well, I am not going to go delete the all the work I did to set up this elaborate 4 subject schedule for myself, but I am going to delete the events from my Google Calendar because I think I need flexibility more than anything. 7:30pm-9:00pm everyday didn’t make sense. I work in live entertainment, it would never make sense for me to use every evening for something like that.

Instead here’s my plan:

1. Try to spend an hour or 2 a few nights a week looking into one of the 4 topics I picked

   1. Social Psychology

   2. Egyptian Mythology/History

   3. Creative Writing

   4. American Sign Language

2. Once a week, write about what I’ve done & share it with someone. That can be my family, friends, or even strangers on the internet. Some kind of deliverable will help keep me honest & actually do this!

3. Be patient with myself. Life is busy, and I am human. There’s no grade & no assignment. No degree to earn (this time ;) ) so let it breathe & let it be.

4. Remember the final goal is this: learn something new

So here we go. It’s October 1st. Let’s find the joy in casual learning again.

***Credit to the original poster on TikTok for the personal curriculum idea & terminology, but unfortunately I have not been able to identify them